I came to a conclusion about myself this past weekend when Steph and I were having a pretty deep conversation about life over an appetizer at Garfield’s. Every time I lose a friend to distance (both figurative and literal) I honestly lose a bit of myself. I invest so much of what I have into my relationships with people that I’m completely unsure what to do with myself when they leave. I’m not sure where all this comes from, but I feel like whenever I have a special thing with someone else that I’ll never be able to find someone else like them. Which has been pretty accurate so far.

Take Lando for instance. He’s moving to Seattle. When he leaves, I will have lost one of the wittiest people I’ve ever met and somebody I can confide in more than anyone (other than Steph of course.) He’s the only other friend I have that I can sit around and quote “The Big Lebowski” and “Pulp Fiction” with and laugh endlessly. He’s the only person that would even think to watch “Black Dynamite” with me and we nearly died laughing. We discuss Star Wars to no end and he deals with my constant re-tellings of stories he’s heard a hundred times. Not to mention he also got me to start running and exercising even though I’m one of the most difficult people he’s probably ever dealt with in that respect. We invented “Porching” together along with our friend, Dave, and I’m not sure how all that’s going to work once he’s gone. Ugh…this sucks. Who is going to help fill the gap that he’s leaving behind? I know he’s only a Skype call away, but that’s a whole lot different than being right next door.

I remember when my good buddy Patrick and I split ways. I thought I would move to Florida and keep playing guitar, and keep learning everything I could about music. That stopped all but completely when I ended up in the middle of nowhere in Tallahassee. Even when I did meet some awesome people, I never got the spark for music back. I lost something I thought would always be there and now my electric guitar gathers dust most of the time. I used to poor so much of my soul into writing music and lyrics to play with Patrick. With him not in my life as much, I don’t play much at all. I strum a few things and write a lick here and there, but nothing that will ever develop into a whole song that I can play and sing with friends. That part of me is just gone and I’m not sure if I’ll ever find someone to help pull it out again.

This list could go on and on with people who had a huge influence on me. My buddy Tony and I used to get together with a group of guys and play D&D on Saturdays. I haven’t played D&D since we hung out together a few years ago. Yet another thing I just can’t seem to get back. Without Ashley, I probably wouldn’t podcast. And, let’s face it, without Steph I might have trouble even finding a purpose for breathing.

This seems to have become a depressing post, and I’m not depressed. I’m just bummed and feeling a little introspective. I’ve been involved in so much awesome stuff and gathered so many cool skills and hobbies from the people I’ve been around, but it’s like without them I can’t seem to keep any of it going.

I hope this post hasn’t belittled anybody or made them feel like they weren’t a catalyst to something I got into. Everybody I know has left a huge impact on me in a ton of different ways. These are just people who were so instrumental in something for so long that I don’t really know how to keep doing stuff without them. Who knows?! Maybe I’ll pull myself back together and just keep moving forward. I guess I should probably just focus on the stuff that I’m learning from new people rather than looking back at all the things I used to do.

Anyway, it’s late and I probably shoot hit the hay. Good talk, blog.

Later

I actually have made some headway on a few things. Actually, writing in this blog is a small victory in itself. Among other things, I’m going to try to write more, exercise and start managing my game time a little better. Because I’m addicted to Star Wars: The Old Republic and I need boundaries 0_o.

It’s late now and I need to get some sleep. I think I spent too much time watching videos while trying to blog and I’ve completely lost track of everything I was going to say. Oh well, this thing is for me anyway

A lot of crazy stuff has been going on lately that really makes me think that I want to keep this thing up to date. I’ve seen quite a bit of loss in the last few weeks, or heard about people that have been lost or others may lose. I know it’s pretty grim but you can’t help thinking about it every now and then, especially when so much happens all at once. I think that the internet has really provided a better sense of closure for people during events like that since you really get to keep all of the things that someone did in a record. My blog should be around for a really long time, until they finally decide I’ll never pay my bills.

I know this is really out of character for me to write about, but it’s just something I thought about a few minutes ago while sitting here. Nobody panic! I’m honestly fascinated by the idea people are surviving more than in just people’s memories now. We have so much “data” from someones brain through all the tweets, facebook posts, and blogs now. I can’t help but think how awesome it would be to have those kinds of direct resources about my grandparents or even my parents now. Imagine the link you’d have with them when you actually get to read what they thought about life and all that happens in it. These outlets for expression have really made sure that nobody can screw with history. I guess they can, but it would be much more difficult. I would hope it would be anyway.

These social media outlets are really a way to preserve history for exactly what it is. For better or for worse. People write about everything and anything and it really gives a snapshot of culture for that moment in time. I love that idea. I truly hope that all these things survive and stay around well into the future so that generations beyond us can see and maybe understand a little about where they came from. I know I would have loved that opportunity.

I have no idea where all of this came from, but I just felt like I needed to blog about something and this is what came out. I really need to do this more often.

I’m not going to go over everything because you can hit any number of tech blogs on the net to find the info you want, but I am going to gush in general over how Apple totally knocked it out of the park this week. I often pride myself on being able to look at stuff objectively and get excited about what really counts. I’m just as likely to get excited over something Android or Microsoft is doing as I am Apple. I am admittedly an Apple fan, and I wear my badge with pride. But any company that pushes our tech forward, I can stand behind and get excited about. This week, Apple shot first.

iCloud, iOS 5, and OS X Lion was a triple shot of espresso straight to the heart of everyone that breathes in the Apple atmosphere. We live in a world now where you pick a universe to be a part of. Be it Google, Amazon, Apple, or Microsoft, you need to pick an atmosphere and roll with whatever they decide to do. Now that every service syncs with every other service inside one of their respective “clouds,” this choice is getting more excited. Apple’s announcement of iCloud pushes this point even further now that they officially have all of your Apple devices sharing info. You now actually benefit from owning a Mac, iPad, and iPhone at the same time. The “one more thing” of Apple’s mind melting keynote was iTunes Match. It’s Apple’s answer to Amazon’s Music Cloud. For $25 a year, iTunes Match will scan your iTunes library and make any music that is available in the iTunes Store available online for you to listen to anywhere. Unlike Amazon’s service that requires you to upload your music, Apple will simply let you listen to your music automagically. Needless to say, I’m excited about everything they had to say. iOS 5 also gives us features we should have had years ago. Not going to go into everything, but you can catch the keynote where they blew all this up at www.apple.com of course.

E3 is also going on this week and has been melting faces for two days with everything they have to offer. Microsoft is blowing people away with the Kinect, Nintendo just announced their new console, and Sony continues to try to salvage their name from the pits of hell after everything that has happened to them. The applications for Microsoft’s Kinect have grown far beyond what I’m sure they even expected. I’m just waiting for the day when I can tell the Xbox 360 to turn on with my voice and for it to say “Hi Stephen. Would you like to play a game” in a HAL 9000 voice. It’s coming sooner than anyone ever thought. Just for example, they are building voice controls into Mass Effect 3 so that you can SPEAK your dialogue choices. *BOOM* MIND BLOWN. People can live or die not based on a button press, but on your vocal decisions. That’s not even scraping the surface of what they intend to do with this thing either.

The new Nintendo console, Wii U, has also completely changed the landscape of gaming. When I first saw the controller, I have to admit that I was a little astonished and confused at the same time. Nintendo came out with another weird piece of hardware that I was sure I’d spend the next year trying to wrap my brain around. That is until I saw it in action. The Wii U has finally brought Nintendo into the HD era, allowing for games to be played at 1080p resolution with amazing graphics. Think of it along the lines of a 360 as far as graphics go. The controller is the truly revolutionary part of this thing though. It has a 6.2″ touchscreen and 2 cameras built right onto it. It makes for a goofy looking device, but one that has endless possibilities for gaming. Playing a golf game? Lay the controller down on the floor, *BOOM* the ball appears to be laying on a bed of grass! Swing the wiimote and the ball takes off, now look at the TV. The ball is soaring safely through the air and landing on the green. It’s hard to write about and get you to picture how incredible it is, but the videos will do it. Needless to say, I might have to pick one of these up in 2012 when they are finally released.

There’s not much else I can say about this stuff without writing a book on it. Any info you want on this can be easily found on the net. Just check it out for five minutes because this is the future. Technology soared high this week and gives you a glimpse of what is to come. I thank God for these imaginative people that can continue to push the limits of what we think is possible with tech. It’s unbelievable what we’ve been able to accomplish in such a short time since gaming was born. Let’s hope we never stop pushing foward

That’s pretty much what I said when I walked into mine and Steph’s cabin in the Smokies for our first annniversary. This place is incredible. I’ve got a ton of pictures I’m going to post because it simply wouldn’t do it justice for me to sit here and describe everything. I honestly didn’t know what to expect when we booked our cabin, but it truly is a home away from home. We walked in and, after shutting the alarm off, my mouth dropped open in amazement. New appliances, huge 55″ Sony Bravia TV, pool table, hot tub, jacuzzi, BED WITH MEMORY FOAM MATTRESS! Ahh!

We went out yesterday to eat at the Old Mill Restaurant, which I now highly recommend. They had corn chowder that was absolutely to die for. It was all spicy and tasty. Wow. Pretty killer chicken & dumpings too. I have to say that I really feel at home on this vacation. For one thing, we have a home up in the mountains with a beautiful view, and or another thing, everything is so COUNTRY! It’s all soul food, horses, cowboys, and everything else you consider southern. I’m loving this place.

Today we’re going out shopping in Gatlinburg and hitting the Ripley’s Aquarium. We booked tickets to Dixie Stampede for tomorrow, which I’ve never been to so this should be really excited.

Anyway, We’re getting ready to leave so I’m just going to leave it at that. Totally looking forward to our day ahead!! Pictures coming soon!

Familial Hypercholesterolemia is defined by Wikipedia as “a genetic disorder characterized by high cholesterol levels, specifically very high levels of low-density lipoprotein (LDL, “bad cholesterol”), in the blood…” It’s defined by me as “a whole lot of suck.” Yeah, it’s no fun and probably means I’ll be taking medication until I die to keep it under control. You could say that I’m being a bit dramatic about the whole thing and it really isn’t that big of a deal, but I’ve never had to go on meds for anything for a long period of time. I’ve been convinced for the last 25 years that I didn’t have any of the major issues that my dad has. I’ve been plagued by a few things, but they’re manageable and don’t require pills. Last night, I found out that this is a big deal and I have to limit my intake of some of my favorite foods! Disaster!

That’s not to say that I don’t need to cut back on certain things anyway. The sad part is that because of my high cholesterol, I got denied life insurance from the company I was getting it from. They did the blood test and apparently I’m a high risk candidate. Crazy talk, I say! I’m 25! It’s kind of weird though that I’m not even that concerned over the life insurance thing. I was just getting that because it was cheap and available. I just thank God that I was able to learn about my cardiovascular issues early on. I don’t know when I would be getting a blood test had it not been for this life insurance deal. It might have been another 10 years before I bothered with blood work.

I am incredibly thankful that this is something that I’ll be able to handle without too much trouble. A few changes in diet, a pill to take every day, and exercise and I should be good to go. I already like to run and I don’t eat terribly either so I really can’t do much to fix it on my own. The bad thing about familial hypercholesterolemia is that you can’t really do anything about it with just diet and exercise. So I get to officially go on medication at some point in the near future. I’m not really too thrilled about that, but one must do what one must do I guess.

So here I am for the first time being faced with my own mortality. I only know one way to handle this…punch mortality right in the face! BOOM!

I have to say that last night’s Dick Clark’s Rockin’ Eve was a little weird. Why did they have the Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block come to perform? They weren’t even popular this DECADE, much less this year. I guess NKOTB were popular, but only because they went on tour and moms (who were once kids in 1990) went to see them. If you put it that way, then I guess it makes sense.

I didn’t do a whole lot today but eat some good food and read an AMAZING comic book. My parents got me “Superman: Earth One” for Christmas, and it is probably one of the BEST Superman origin stories that I’ve ever read or heard. There is so much heart in this book. It really deals with Clark Kent’s reluctance to use his powers or to demonstrate his abilities at all. One of the most interesting things is that his parents were pushing him to not hold back, and to use his powers and be who he is. He’s the one with the reservations about whether he wants to do that or not. It really focuses on the struggle that Clark has on whether to sacrifice a possible “normal” life by showing who he is to the world. He, of course, realizes that Earth needs him to be it’s hero.

One of the COOLEST parts of this book was his mother’s explanation of why he doesn’t need to wear a mask. *SPOILER ALERT* She basically tells him that the people of Earth will be afraid of his abilities from the start. She says that the world needs to see the honesty, generosity, and caring in his eyes and face in order to trust him. “The mask is what you will have to wear the rest of the time.” I thought that that was such an awesome way of explaining why Superman chooses to wear glasses and mess with his hair to disguise himself, rather than the other way around like Batman, the Green Lantern, or any other masked hero. Every Superman fan should really check this story out. I loved it.

Well, I’m sitting in Stephanie’s room at her parents’ house thinking about going to bed. She’s packing for her next rotation in Huntington and I’m headed back to MoTown tomorrow. I finally pulled the trigger and got my World of Warcraft account back. I’m really excited about it, because it is such an awesome game and I can’t wait to play with my friends again. I was never really obsessed or addicted the first time I logged on and I don’t plan on getting that way now. It’s just a fun game to play when you have some downtime. An addict would say that, wouldn’t he?

Have a great year everybody!

Aside from completely screwing up NaNoWriMo, this has been a pretty decent month. Steph and I bought our first Christmas tree yesterday! It’s a six foot candian fur…a fake canadian fur. It was super cheap, but we’re really proud of it. Now all we have to do is start gathering some ornaments to go on it.

Well…I just got a long call from my awesome parents and forgot all the things I was going to write about. That’s cool though! My parents are awesome and it was nice to talk to them. I got Christmas ideas!! Woot!

Until next time, earthlings!

I’m going to start out this review by saying that I am a HUGE fan of the comic book by Robert Kirkman. It’s one of those books that grabs you from the beginning and never lets you go. Kirkman is absolutely indifferent to all of his characters to the point that he will kill off any one of them even if he knows you love them. This is a real world that he’s created, where the hero can die and what you view as a forgettable character can easily become the most important. I’ll just say that his world looks to translate beautifully to the screen.

This is not the zombie show you’re looking for…or maybe it is. If you are a huge fan of the zombie flicks that have been produced in this new zombie obsessed world (ie. Resident Evil, Dawn of the Dead, Zombieland), then you may be disappointed by The Walking Dead’s moody, dark, serious tone. The movies that have come out in the last ten years have tended to use people as backdrops and zombies as the main characters. You’re really just watching to see who dies next and who fills the stereotypes that you’re used to. This is not that show.

In The Walking Dead, we’re dealing with real, living, breathing characters who have emotions, quirks, and real issues that matter. This is a story of people who are dropped into an impossible situation with one goal: survive. This story isn’t about the “jump” scares. It’s really about watching good people fall apart in the face of this kind of disaster. Rick Grimes, the main character, is the first guy we meet. The show opens with him searching for gas at an abandoned gas station and running into a little girl that turns out to be a zombie (a word that is not used in the show, by the way.) From the first scene of this series you know that it is going to show every bit of what it takes to kill a zombie. What I mean by that is that it doesn’t pan away when a little zombie girl gets shot through the forehead. You get shown every gory bit.

Frank Darabont, of Shawshank Redemption and Green Mile fame, is directing and producing the series and I don’t think a better person could have been picked. You can tell from the first scene that he respects this series and it’s characters. He’s helped to create the perfect mood for an extended zombie story. It’s bleak, sad, and at sometime heart wrenching. Following Rick, played by Andrew Lincoln, as he tries to figure out what’s going on and where his family is is devastating. He basically breaks down when he arrives at home to find it deserted and his wife and son missing. Imagine waking up in a world where dead people are walking around and you can’t find anyone to ask a question. This is what he’s woken up in and it’s captured perfectly.

I cannot wait to see where this series goes. I can tell already that they are taking certain liberties with the comic book, but that’s all well and good. Kirkman has blessed this series and even has an executive producer credit on this masterpiece. The TV series has an advantage in knowing exactly where these characters should end up and can choose however it wants to show how they get there. This is a zombie story about characters, not the zombies. This is a story that wants you to care about the people you’re watching, and so far it’s done a fantastic job. I cannot wait for next Sunday night.

I absolutely LOVE podcasting. It constantly amazes me that someone can put content out in the world that others will listen to. There is so much more power in the people’s hands than their used to be. There was a time when you had to have a job at a radio station to say stuff an even then it was dictated by some overlord with a kill switch. Now, you, me, jimmy down the street, anyone can have a show and tell people whatever they want. Blows my mind.

I’ve always loved talking to people, entertaining people, and all in all just trying to make everyone have a good time. Sometimes I think it’s my true calling. Just being there and giving people some break from the craziness they deal with everyday. I think of some of our listeners who have sent us emails or let us know that our show has really helped them get through tough times, or just brought a smile to their faces on days when they just didn’t feel that great. It means so much to me to know that Ash and I have that kind of effect on people. I love knowing that our show means something to people and they really do appreciate us. I know we really appreciate them.

I know we aren’t the best at getting back to every person or emailing everybody back. I’m the world’s worst at remembering what I said I’ll put on the show and what I won’t. A lot of the time I’ll get an email from a listener and have every intention to add their story to the show notes and I completely forget by the time showtime rolls around. I really need to take more notes on EVERYTHING throughout the day. That would probably help me out just a little bit

Anyway, I’m sitting around listening to some old Ataris albums and just being altogether bored. Steph should be calling soon so I’m just going to leave it at this or I could type all night. Have a great evening everybody!